i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
