I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
