No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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