No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I currently don't understand fingers.
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