If that was your dad, he is hot
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
