I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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