he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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