During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
