Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is wine microwaveable?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
40s are totally the cure
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
