Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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