i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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