is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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