therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
