we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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