So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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