No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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