I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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