We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
