I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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