Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
