FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
