SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
