i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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