Reggie can tackle my bush.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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