I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
