I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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