I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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