...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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