I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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