when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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