Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize