Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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