I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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