forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
