Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
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