I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
