I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
