come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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