whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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