it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize