Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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