successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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