Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
