tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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