if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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