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i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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