She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
