Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
