kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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