I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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