I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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