mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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