He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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