Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
