i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
