.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize