I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
