im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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