She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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