I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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