Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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