it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
