Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
