ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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