Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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