Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
