just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
